Practice Notes// What to do if you’re feeling stuck and restless

Solstice pulled me back. There was a palpable shift the moment the light began its steady return.
Or something.
Before then, there was a clash between autumn’s air-space and winter’s wet earth. I was feeling bound to earth and restless at the skin. All year long, I anticipated the flighty anxiety of fall and prepared: grounding meditation, spoons on the feet, oil in the ears and on the skin, butter in my belly. It worked. I felt so good even in the flighty-spacey season.
But then the cold, wet earth of winter collided with my space-heart and whoosh— all bets were off.
What to do when you feel like the only thing that will bring peace is to sit alone on top of a mountain for one hundred days and nights?
Above all, I am practical. (Actually, I don’t know whether that is true, but I aim at least to be helpful. And practical is actually much more mystical than the air of mysticism, if you *really* pay attention.)
So, what did I do?

• I let myself feel it: the discomfort of earth holding air. Air trying to break free of its container. And where did it live in my body: the skin. Right at the skin. Letting myself feel into kept things moving.
• Then, I let myself be just a little bit reckless: I dyed my hair, I read some really delicious fiction until 9:30pm (usually I am totally asleep by 9). This was fun, but felt slightly ungrounded, so I don’t know if it actually helped.
• I exercised outside every single day: my running shoes came out of their dusty resting place, my hula hoop got some cold-weather action, I rode my bike in the rainiest of Decembers on record. THIS HELPED THE MOST.
• I sat twice a day. Since Oona was born, my typical practice is one seated meditation in the morning, but during the nadir of my seasonal shake-up, I went back to 2 sits per day. Focusing on grounding at night. THIS WAS GOOD.

And now, I’m feeling good. Steady as all. Ready for the next shift to keep me on my toes. Grateful for my foundations of practice that allow for this precise, delicate quality of noticing.

LOVE.

P.S. Portland sweet-hearts, I’m offering two very special events in the new year:

• Welcome to Yoga is a 5-week yoga foundations course at Love Hive Yoga. Saturdays, 1-2:15pm. January 9-February 6. An introduction to a complete yoga practice: movement, breath, more. Join us.
• Begin Where You Are: Developing the Habit of Practice is a 3-hour workshop at Yoga Refuge focusing on developing the foundations for a lifetime of practice. This workshop includes gentle movement, restorative yoga, meditation and totally practical tactics and systems for freeing up mental space through essential practice habits. Sunday, January 10. 2-5pm. Join us.